The First Chapter of my Untitled Middle Grade Book.

Work in progress.

Starting something new was never exciting to Ximena. She had lost that feeling after so many moves with her mother. Every year since kindergarten, they had to rent a new apartment to live close to where her mother found work. These weren’t small moves to the next street or neighborhood over. These were huge leaps to different parts of the city where the people and streets looked like you were in a different country. Sometimes the apartments they moved into were clean and surrounded by flowers outside. Other times they were surrounded by large dumpsters and weeds. No matter where they ended up, they always found a way to make their new place feel like home.

Ximena was optimistic by nature. This helped her focus on the positive side to moving. There was always something new to discover. In her latest neighborhood, there was the smell of new foods that made your mouth water when you walked by. There were sounds of rhythmic music that made people stop and dance in the middle of the sidewalk, and different languages she heard people speaking that had her wondering where they were from. There was another version of Ximena hiding inside of her that was ready to jump out and have fun. It made her want to be a part of it all, but she was too much of an introvert to let her jump out. So, she just took delight in watching it all happening around her instead.

Sometimes, after school, some of the girls that were in her class spent time outside on the sidewalk jumping rope. Ximena wasn’t allowed to go outside unless her mother was home. Not even if the babysitter, who was usually the neighbor next door, was there. So, she just watched them all having fun from her upstairs window while she pretended to do her homework, imagining all the fun she would be having if she were down there. She often wished her mom would get home before dusk so she could play outside, but she seldom did. Dusk was when all the kids would go inside to wash up for dinner. Sitting by the window always made her feel like she was on the outside looking in, even though she was on the inside looking out.

This was the year that she started to realize she had never had a best friend. There were kids that she talked to, but they only had simple conversations about classwork or what was on the lunch menu that day. In school, everyone seemed to have a best friend. Unfortunately, she always enrolled in a new school too late to make a best friend. They were already taken. She ended up being the third wheel. Just following along, listening to the conversations, but never really being a part of the conversation. How could she make a best friend if she never got an opportunity? And if she did get the opportunity, what would she even say to start a conversation? That was the hard part about being an introvert and moving so much. You never get to practice your social skills.

Ximena had gone to three different elementary schools in Chicago. The school she was currently attending seemed to be her best chance at making good friends. There were only a couple of weeks left to finish up the third grade when she got the news. Her mother had picked her up on a Friday, something the babysitter usually did, in her dusty old red Buick, looking frustrated by all the cars in front of her. She wasn’t a very patient woman. Even when kids were safely getting into their parent’s car after school. Her mother finally made it to the front of the line, and Ximena got in with a big smile on her face, surprised to see her.

“Mama!”

“I have some bad news, mija.”

Her mother was usually very direct with her communication.

“Ugh, okay.”

“I got laid off today.”

“Mama, what does that mean?” Ximena began to sink down in her seat, knowing it was something bad, just not sure how bad.

“It means I don’t have a job anymore. They don’t need my help. So now I have to figure out our next move. I’m considering having us move back to Houston and live with your Abuelita and the family for a while.”

“No mom, I don’t want to move again. Please no.”

“This isn’t easy for me either. I like having our independence. The job market is just tough right now, and I have to keep you safe.”

Ximena’s tears grew heavy in her eyes and her chest began to feel tight. She didn’t even get to tell her mom about her day before being hit with the bad news. She was hoping to spend her summer outside with the neighborhood kids, laughing and getting to know them better. But soon after the news her hopes had quickly vanished. Now, she had to give those hopes up. Her tears ballooned and rolled down her cheek as she closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. Her mother reached over and grabbed Ximena’s hand.

“I’m sorry Ximena, we have no choice. I’ve asked your father for help, but he just can’t right now. He’s busy down in Florida doing who knows what. It’s not easy for me either. I really liked this job. This hotel was the nicest I’ve ever worked at. Where am I going to find a place like that again?”

Ximena wasn’t one to give her mom a hard time. She took another deep breath and tried to release all the sadness she was feeling.

“Okay, mama.”

They sat in silence for the rest of the car ride home.